Why I Stay

•January 21, 2010 • Leave a Comment

“I Walk with the Goddess,

The Goddess, She walks with me.”

“I Walk With the Goddess”


I know that I have told the story, as sketchy as it is, of how I came to Paganism, but I imagine some of you might wonder why it is I stay here. Well, that is a story that needs telling. Once upon a time….No wait, it’s not that kind of story, so I’ll just begin with. A long time ago there was this girl. Now, I don’t mean to make it sound like she’s dead or anything but she no longer exists. But I digress.

Anyway, I knew this girl. I loved this girl. She was one of those girls I almost married once. You have to understand though, that I was desperately in love with this girl. She consumed me. I loved her so much, that by extension, I loved pretty much everything that she loved. I wanted to share everything with her. So, her religiosity became my religiosity. Not that I hadn’t been raised a Christian, whatever that means, but there was a fervor there that would not have been had she not been there too.

You see, I never felt much from Christianity. It never really did a lot for me. Or as I like to put it “Christianity never seemed very Spiritual to me”. Well, time has gone by since then and while I will say that I still love that girl, I am no longer in love with that girl and will probably never love that way again, which is ok, that was the love of the young. A more mature love is, I believe more circumspect. It is ok, of course to love with all you heat, but you should not lose yourself in your love for another …but I am waning philosophical, back to the topic at hand.

I told you all that to say this. I never felt anything in Christianity. Church was a snooze. The people were usually pretty nice, but you can find nice people anywhere. Paganism though…I have walked in the presence of The Gods and they have walked with me. I have felt them. They are real to me in a way that Christianity never could be. This is the reason I stay.


The Hunt

•December 21, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“If there’s something strange,

“In the neighborhood,

“Who you gonna call?”

Ray Parker Jr.

We don’t do that. We are Paranormal Investigators, not Busters of Ghosts, we only do the hunt. We may make some suggestions, but we don’t walk around with unlicensed nuclear accelerators strapped to our backs. All that being said of course, we do enjoy the hunt, even (especially?) when things get spooky.

On our last hunt, it was interesting. We met at a restaurant, The China Cottage. A pretty big group that night, several new people, 2 of special note. I’ve forgotten their names, but they were…annoying. The one was not so bad, mostly just a quiet guy. The other guy kept extolling his own psychic virtues and bor…er, entertaining us with these outlandish stories of his accomplishments, which I will not go into.

After dinner we all headed out to the bridge at New Burlington. New Burlington was a town before the Corps of Engineers built Ceaser’s Creek lake. The place is very haunted.  Many fascinating pictures have been taken there.

I will retell this as best I can from my memory.

When we got there we almost immediately went to the other bridge that is there. Much wandering about was done, many pictures were taken. Psychic impressions were felt. Lots of orbs were seen (in pictures). You can go either way with orbs, so take that as you will.

We went back to the big bridge and stood around for a while. After a bit I invited Karmen (and you can correct me if I am wrong on the spelling of your name Karmen (Carmin? Carmen?)) to go down the road with me to the cemetery. Well, we walked and walked and walked. It was a much longer road than I had any idea. A mile apparently. We finally got to the cemetery and my phone rang. It was Cyndi. Everyone had left her there alone. We headed back.

A bit later I called Cyndi and told her that she was welcome to sit in Karmen’s car. Cyndi said she was walking up to meet us. As we were walking we could see off  in the distance a light. We thought it must be Cyndi heading towards us with a flashlight. As we got further though, this dark figure coalesced out of the darkness and it was Cyndi.

As we walked back, she told us her tale (and please correct any mistakes or feel free to elaborate on this Cyndi). 2 of the hunters had left because of the cold. Leaving Cyndi alone with those 2 guys. The verbose one started talking about demons and it was creeping Cyndi out, so she grounded and shielded and they left immediately and she was alone. The splashing started (this is a phenomenon we have encountered out there before, it is as if something is throwing really big rocks into the water) and this creeped Cyndi out further, being alone, and so she started walking to ward us. Then she heard a car door open and close.

Well, we got to the cars and the door that was opened was mine. I could tell this because the dome light was on because that door was not all the way closed. My car had been closed up and locked. We walked past it to get out to the cemetery and that light was off.

When we got back to the cars we took pictures of my car and interesting orbs were around it. I’ll submit the pictures here, I just realized that I never posted them. After that we stayed around for a while, but things seemed to subside. The extreme cold then drove us home.

I almost forgot the disfiguring scar. Ok, that’s a bit of an overstatement. On our way home Cyndi began to complain of a pain on her leg. There was a very nasty “z” shaped scratch on her leg. It had somehow appeared under 2 pairs of pants. Pants there were not damaged at all in getting this scratch. No pulled threads or anything.

A shot in the dark. One other thing. On her way toward us, Cyndi heard the sound of a rifle shot, loud and clear. She did not think much of it until she asked me about it. I didn’t hear it at all. I don’t believe Karmen did either (though once again, correct me if I am wrong please). A shot like that should have been heard by us all.

Hypnagogic Paralysis

•December 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Hypnagogic Paralysis


The Dreams Come Unbidden

“Just put me in a wheelchair

“Get me on a plane

“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

“Before I go insane!

“I can’t control my fingers

“I can’t control my brain!

“Oh no Oh no Oh no!”

“I want to be sedated”

The Ramones

Last night I awoke in the middle of the night, unable to move. I have had this experience enough that I can usually remember it. I could not last night though. Something was watching me from the dark. I could see it moving around. Just watching me. Even though I was scared, I had the sense it was my mother. I tries to say something. I could hear myself grunt. I got one leg moving. Finally, with my leg flailing I mumbled out “Get away from me…”. Then I was fully awake and capable of movement.

Hypnogaugic hallucinations are annoying.

Apropos Of Nothing

•December 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“A rainbow rat,

“   A checkered cat,

“    Go tail in tail along the road.

“The mouse is pleased,

“   The Moon is cheese,

“     The Sun is shining hot and cold.”

“The Singing Sea”

Kanno Yoko and The Seat Belts

This is a ramble. I have no particular topic to talk about, so, I will talk about whatever comes to mind. I guess first I would like to give props to my Pagan Podcasters. While I do not like all the podcasts I have tried, I am glad that you are all there. If anyone is interested, these are the shows to which I listen. The Wigglian Way, almost a given, an awesome show. A Pagan In The Threshold, fairly new, am liking it quite a bit. Get Out Of The Broomcloset, there are some others, but I can’t think of them right now.

Just another word or two for and about podcasts. First, I hate the name. I hate the name because it is an obvious reference to the iPod. I am anti-Apple. I’m not going to go into that now. Second, my preference is for podcasts with more than one caster. I have to check out The Magickal Earth. They call it a quadcast because there are four of them. The other thing for my Pagan podcasters, please, please do not play the bump for your show on your show. I mean if someone, some other podcaster creates a little bump for you to play on your show, awesome! But please don’t play the one that you created for other shows to play. Really, we know about your show, we are listening to it.

As I sit here struggling with this, I find that I don’t have much to say at any given point. I occasionally come up with a good post but so much of the time…I’ve got nothing. I still plan to blog here at least once a week. It will be a struggle, at least at first, I can tell.

As some of you may know, I am a paranormal investigator of sorts. This weekend I am going out on a bridge that is very haunted. It is going to be cold. Very cold. We are doing this because one of our new members has a Frank’s box. She seems very enthusiastic. I will tell you, in another post, how it goes.

The final thing I have to say is…to make a request. Bloggers thrive on feedback. So, if you are reading this, please say so. Praise is always accepted, as well as constructive criticism.


•December 2, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“Wounds are all I’m made of,

did I hear you say that this is victory?”

Blue Oyster Cult

It’s over. The seepage  has ended. It continued all that night and into the next day but slower and then it finally stopped sometime that next night. My head is now a mass of scabs. It has a very interesting feel. The dandruff is back, with a vengeance, but you know, I can live with that.

Yay. Word press won’t keep the formatting either….:rolleyes:

Short And Pretty Gross

•November 25, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Short And Pretty Gross


“I cracked my head

And broke my heart.”


“Falls Apart”



I said that I would try to get in another post before Thanksgiving and well I have managed, though it will not be a ritual. I am very tired as I did not sleep well last night. Just wasn’t sleepy. However, one thing I did notice was that my hair seemed to stay wet for an inordinately long time after my shower. Was still wet in the morning when I got up.


When I got to work, I finally figured out what was going on. My head was seeping.  Apparently the psoriasis I have does not like the Dandruff shampoo and reacted with it rather nastily. My head seeped all day, It’s still doing it now. By the end of the day my hair was matted with basically scabs, even though it was a clear liquid coming out. The liquid is oderless also, but developed a very definite, if not very strong, unpleasant odor after being around in the air for a while.


So after work I went to the store and bought some baby shampoo, nice and gentle, to wash my hair with. After a gentle washing most of the ickies have come out of my hair and I think I am down to just a few seepy spots. I’ll keep you all informed about how things go in the days ahead.

Pagan Solidarity

•November 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Pagan Solidarity


Is there a name for what’s wrong with you?



“Who are you to wave your finger?

You must have been out your head.”


“The Pot”




The other night I was listening to a podcast, one of my favorite pass times, as you may know.  The podmistress was speaking of various things when she began to speak of a topic that annoyed me greatly. I appears that someone with a well loved podcast came under attack by another would be podcaster. This young upstart came upon the established podcaster’s forum and said that she was a terrible podcaster and that she should stop podcasting, with of course a link to her show site.


This annoys me. Allow me to paint you a picture of when such behavior might be acceptable. If there were only allowed to be 5 Pagan podcasts at any given time. This might be acceptable behavior in that case, but only if the podcast is really bad, has no listeners, etc. But you know what? The net is a big wide open place and there is plenty of room for podcasts. Pagan and otherwise.


Now back to the title of this little chapter of my blog.  Pagan Solidarity. Stop the witch wars people. As you probably know, I live in the little town of Misery Falls, Ohio (No matter what town I live in, it’s Misery Falls). Misery Falls is near the city of Dayton,  sometimes more south, sometimes more east, but always near. There is something about this area of Ohio and maybe Ohio itself. We have a lot of Pagans here. Really. It is hard to walk down the street without tripping over one. Ok, I exaggerate, a little. But there are a lot of us around. With our numbers, we could really be a force for positive change, or, we could just hang out and not hate on each other. There is a lot of hating going on. I’ve seen it. It’s uncalled for.


I was part of a group once. We had some people (I’m not going to go into who they were, it’s not important) who came, joined our group, did rituals with us, broke bread with us, with the express purpose in mind of causing a schism and stealing our members while trying to form their own group. Had they said to us “We are going to start another group, a study group.” (Our group was pretty social and not terribly serious.) that would have been fine. No, that would have been awesome. We would have had some people who really just wanted a very serious group who would have left out group, the majority of us would probably have ended up doing both groups and some would have not really been interested in the serious group and stayed with the original group.


Of course while that’s the way things could have been, no. These people decided to slander the leaders of this group in a bid to steal the members. What could have been a beautiful thing ended up in a bit of tragedy. Hurt feelings all around. And so it goes.


In culmination, this is what I want to say. Stop. We are all Pagans (I mean of course the ones of us who are Pagans, I know that there are some reading this (“Hi Mkwa!”) that are not, I’m not really counting you) . We don’t all have to agree on everything, in fact, it would be really annoying if we did. But for the love of the Gods we should be able to get along. Let’s not let stupid ideological differences get in the way of our sameness. Lets not end up like certain Christan Sects that think that (and I’m not bashing here, this is true!) other certain Christian sects are evil and wrong.


Well, the hour is late and I have to be up early. I will try to get in another entry before Thanksgiving, maybe that ritual that has been percolating in the back of my head.